Walk Away
by espergirl04
Summary: AU. Things are tense around the precinct. John/Teyla.
1. Chapter 1

Stargate Atlantis AU. I'll probably add a chapter or two to flesh it out a little more. And even though the opening scene is taken from the show, things are changed.

Disclaimer: Do not own SGA, characters, etc.

* * *

It takes all that she has not to throw a punch. Her hands clench and she can feel every muscle tense and her head pounds as he says, "Sheppard might trust you but I sure as hell don't."

She breathes in and begins to count.

Ten.

"You know what I think?"

Nine.

"I think that you went native."

Eight.

"Someone took those drugs from lock-up."

Seven.

"And you know what they say."

Six.

"Once a junkie…"

Five.

"Always a junkie."

She doesn't get to four. Her fist connects with his face and there's a moment of pain but she ignores it as she yells, "How dare you, how dare you accuse me." She shoves him but he pushes back and they struggle for a moment before hands grab her by the upper arm. She breaks their grip and goes for Bates but as she lunges, the person catches her around the waist.

"That's enough!"

It's John.

Lorne has stepped in front of Bates and is trying to calm him down. Rodney is just standing there, tablet in hand, mouth open. "What the…"

"He," Teyla jerks forward but Sheppard tightens his arms. "He accused me of taking the missing drugs."

"Because she did," Bates growls, "and it's only a matter of time before I prove it."

"I said that's enough," John's voice is low. Rough.

"Get your team under control, Sheppard," Bates spits before walking away.

Teyla takes a few unsteady steps back and leans against the wall. John is watching her. He hasn't said anything yet but she can see the anger in his eyes. "He accused-"

"I heard what you said." John runs a hand through his hair. "What the hell is the matter with you," his voice has risen. "You just assaulted a senior officer, I could have your badge, the _Chief_ could have your badge."

She stares at the ground.

"Go lay low while clean this up, got it?" John shakes his head.

"Sir," Teyla begins.

"I don't want to hear it," he snaps. "Not right now."

She's sitting in the locker room when John enters. He takes a seat on the bench next to her.

"I did not take the drugs," She says.

"I know," John sighs. "I don't blame you for losing it."

She looks up. John looks away. He was there. Through everything. He was the one who recommended her to Carter for the undercover narcotics job in the first place. He was the one who she had turned to when things started going wrong. When Ford overdosed. When they finally made the arrests. He was there when she knocked on his door, in the middle of withdrawals, not wanting to end up in the ground like Ford had.

He wouldn't have let her back on his team unless he was sure. Absolutely sure, that she was clean. And she had been for over a year. She still is. "I had to work hard to get here," she says. "It is still a difficult journey. And to have Bates…to have him question that…"

John lays a hand on her knee. "I know," he says. "And I believe you. But you know that IA is still going to question you."

"I know."

"And you know that you can't punch Woolsey in the face."

The sad thing is, John is being completely serious. She feels like she let him down, in a way.

"I know."

He nods. "Good." Standing, he reaches a hand towards her. "How about we grab something to eat."

She takes his hand and allows him to pull her to her feet. "I would prefer to spar."

John groans. "This is to get your anger out, isn't it."

"Perhaps."

"And I'm going to get my ass kicked, aren't I."

Teyla smirks, "You should be used to it by now."


	2. Move In The Right Direction

This story is going in a non-chronological order. I considered putting it up as a separate story all together but then figured that this is more convenient.

Disclaimer: I do not own SGA or any of the characters.

* * *

At the moment she cannot remember a time when she did not feel like this. A time when she did not want to crawl out of her skin, when her mind was not racing, when her body was not screaming. Teyla knows she can end it, she knows what to do to put her mind and body at ease. She knows what to do to make the world make sense again. To make it so it is not a struggle to just _be_.

Her heart is pounding and her palms are sweating and her body shakes. She wants it to stop. To just end.

She knows who. She knows how.

And so she does.

It takes half an hour or so to take effect but then the shaking ceases and her mind is at ease and she feels powerful and invulnerable.

She can do anything.

But eventually. Eventually it wears off and she cannot remember feeling normal.

She cannot remember how it was to be in control of her life.

She knows who. She knows how.

She raises her finger to the doorbell and stops just before she reaches it. She turns to go. The door opens.

"Teyla?"

And then she breaks. "John," she moves towards him and circles her arms around him and he holds her awkwardly as she cries. "Please. Please, find a way to make this end." A permanent end.

The rage hits her first. She's screaming at him, telling him to let her go, just let her go get what it is that she needs.

John allows her to yell to scream to cry. It becomes physical. Even though the drug is wearing off, he is still not strong enough to control her. There is a brief moment of pain as he wrestles her arms behind her back and then metal slaps around her wrists. Eventually she allows herself to slump to the floor, all the while cognizant that John is watching her closely.

She is vaguely aware of being carried out the door and she begins to struggle.

"Shh," John says, "Just relax."

All she knows is she does not want anyone else to see her like this and she moves, trying to get away.

"Teyla, listen to me," John has set her down in his driveway and is kneeling next to her, holding her up. "I'm not going to watch you die, got it? I have to take you to the hospital."

"No," she says, "No."

John sighs. "Shit." Then he leans his head against hers. "Okay. I'm going to make a call."

She recognizes the Scottish accent. "What's going on then?"

Beckett. She can trust Beckett.

She hears John say something about withdrawals. Soon she does not hear anything at all.

There is darkness and only darkness. And then she slowly becomes aware of the soft sheets that she is lying on and the light that filters through the cracked door.

"John?" It comes out as no more than a whisper.

"Sorry, love, just me." There is movement next to her. "I'm going to turn the lamp on, alright?"

"Yes."

She squints her eyes as her world is illuminated once more. Beckett gently picks up her hand, fingers against her wrist to check her pulse. "You're very lucky, you know that?"

She is lucky. She is lucky that she has someone like John in her life. "I know."

"It's going to be rough for awhile."

She knows that, too.


	3. Can't Repeat

And so it continues.

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, etc.

* * *

Woolsey is looking at the file in his hand and she waits. Finally, the folder hits the table and he leans back in his chair. "Tell me, Ms. Emmagen. How is it that you were chosen for the undercover work? I didn't realize that you were in narcotics."

She knows that he has the information. "Sgt. Sheppard and I were…detained, by Agent Dex."

"I'm afraid I'm not familiar with him," Woolsey says.

"He works for the DEA. Sheppard and I inadvertently found ourselves in the middle of his operation."

"I see. And how does that relate to your being put undercover?"

"Afterwards, Agent Dex asked Carter for an undercover narcotics task force and Captain Carter complied." Teyla knows that he is biding his time.

Woolsey takes a sip of coffee. "And it was Sgt. Sheppard who recommended you."

"Yes, he suggested Ford and myself."

"Why you?" Woolsey asks. "Ford I can see, something like this would have put him on the radar. But you, you were on the fast track to making detective."

Teyla smiles. "He said he wanted to put my degree in sociology to good use."

"So tell me, Teyla, may I call you Teyla?"

"Yes." And here it was.

"When did you first partake in the use of the Wraith drug? The very same drug that you were out to stop from being further distributed."

"Three months in." She crosses her arms. "Ford had worked his way into the circle first. He brought me in."

"And?"

She shakes her head. "And then he drugged me. He slipped it into my food." By that time Ford had already hooked. He was already convinced that the drug was the way to go. And after awhile, she had believed it to. "It makes you…it makes you stronger, powerful, it energizes you."

"It's a synthetic drug, originally created for military use."

"Yes."

"Until they found out about the side effects."

"It is highly addictive."

"And the rage?"

"That too."

"Yet you managed to control it enough to continue to work with the DEA. You were able to secure enough evidence to help them bring down the Wraith."

"That is correct."

He flipped the file open. "It took you just under a year."

Elven months, twelve days. "Yes."

"By that time you were heavy into your use of the drug."

"Yes."

He was silent for a moment. She waits. "Sgt. Sheppard put you on probation." Woolsey regards her calmly, "For a completely different incident, if I'm not mistaken. But he knew, didn't he."

He knew. Teyla remembers him pulling her to the side after they had brought in a suspect. She remembers him holding her arm as she trembled uncontrollably, waiting, biding her time until she could shoot up. Remembers the look on his face as he told her that she was on probation. She knew that he knew.

"And yet he didn't suspend you, didn't go to the Chief."

"No." He knew that being on the team was the only thing that was keeping her from going down the same path Ford had. He knew that if he pushed her too soon, she would run and never look back.

"You sought help."

"Yes."

"And you've been clean for…"

"A year and half."

"Until last week." There it is. She has been waiting for it. The blow that she knew Woolsey was saving, the sneaky weasel that he is. It is his job. But she thinks that maybe he enjoys it a little too much.

"I beg your pardon?"

Woolsey shrugs. "There were drugs taken from lockup. The Wraith drug. You and Ford, you two were the only ones who touched it and Ford is gone. Logically-"

"Logically you would know that it was not me. I have been clean and sober for a year and a half and it has been the hardest period of my life. I do not wish to go back there."

"Who else, then. Tell me, who."

Teyla leans forward, forearms resting on the table. She looks Woolsey in the eyes. "You have a dirty cop," she says, "You have a dirty cop who is acting as a fence. Or," she continues to look at him directly. "The Wraith have done what we did to them."

"What's that."

"They have infiltrated the San Francisco PD."

Woolsey's expression does not change. "Being undercover for so long, I imagine that you can get sucked in. Maybe make some friends. Maybe start questioning yourself."

"You are asking if it is me."

"I'm not asking, Ms. Emmagen. At this point, I believe it is."

His straightforwardness surprises her. "And I am telling you, they want to see me dead. As much as I want to see those who remain behind bars." She pushes her chair back. "Are we finished?"

Woolsey stands. "For now." He brushes past Sheppard on his way out.

John shrugs off his leather jacket and sits across from her. He drums a rhythm against the edge of the table. "I'm sorry," he says at last.

That was not what she had been expecting to hear. "For what?"

The drumming ceases. "For not extracting you when I should have."

She knows that it is something that he has been carrying with him. He should not have to. "I asked you not to," she says.

"I know. But I should have pulled you out. You and Ford."

He carries Ford's death on his shoulders. "John, we brought them down."

"Yeah," John nods his head. "We did. But was it worth it?"


	4. Modern Myth

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, etc.

* * *

Her senses slowly return and she realizes that her entire body aches. She tries to move and finds that she cannot. Her hands are bound, warm skin against skin, wrist against wrist. There is a slight jerk and she feels the back of her partner's head rest against her shoulder for a moment. "John?"

"Yeah. You okay?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any idea what happened?" From the tone of his voice, she can tell that he doesn't know.

Neither does she. "No. The last thing that I remember was walking towards the exit of the hanger bay."

It appears that they never made it out.

"I feel like I stuck my finger into an electrical socket."

"A Taser," she offers.

"Must of come from behind."

"Should've been more careful." The man approaches and Teyla cranes her neck to look at him. He's large. Tall, lean, well muscled. Tank top and cargo pants. Dreads.

"Look, Buddy." She can feel John shift to get a better look at their captor. "I'm not sure what's going on here, but whatever it is, it's a misunderstanding."

"Don't think so," the man grunts.

"The name's Sgt. Sheppard," John says. "Sergeant, as in SFPD."

"I know." The man drops their badges on the ground in front of them and then kicks them out of their reach.

"You really want to be holding two cops hostage when backup gets here?"

"The back-up that's not coming," the man says flatly. "A detective and a plain clothes cop walking around an abandoned hanger bay. Doesn't sound like anyone knows where you are."

It is true. They had been conducting their own unofficial investigation, one that Chief Weir had told Sheppard to drop.

The man crouches and pulls out a gun as they hear vehicles in the distance.

John tries again. "You don't know what you're dealing with, let us handle it."

The man chuckles. A deep, throaty sound. He pulls a black, leather wallet out of his pocket and flips it open. "Special Agent Ronon Dex. DEA. You're the ones in over your heads." He stands again as the sound of engines cut off. "Stay put."

Dex returns what seems like hours later. He crouches down, pulls a knife from his boot, and cuts the zip ties from their wrists. "Now get the hell out."

John rubs his wrists. "Pleasure meeting you too."

It's not the Chief that calls her in, but Captain Carter, head of Narcotics. John is there, standing in the corner, arms folded across his chest.

"Teyla," Carter says. "Have a seat."

She looks at John and he nods. Teyla takes a seat. "You two made quite an impression on Agent Dex. He wants to partner with the San Francisco PD to run an undercover operation."

"Do they not have their own agents?" Teyla asks.

"They do," Carter says. "But they've been at this for a while, Dex thinks a new set of eyes might help."

Teyla glances over to John. "But we are not with the Narcotics Division."

"No," Carter says. "You're not. But Agent Dex requested the best that we have and, well, Sgt. Sheppard has convinced me that his team is the best."

There's a knock on the door and Ford steps in. "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

Carter turns a file towards them as the door shuts. "So. What do you know about the Wraith?"


	5. Trouble

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, etc.

* * *

"How'd the interview go?" His southern drawl still catches her off guard.

Teyla sits down at the desk across from him and begins to boot up her computer. "As one might expect."

Michael nods, "They call Sheppard in to question him?"

"Yes."

He blows out a low whistle. "I'd love to see that one. He's gonna wipe the floor with Woolsey."

"I am not so sure," Teyla types in her password. "Have you finished the report?"

"On the Keegan case? Finished it this morning." He kicks his boots up on the desk. "Doesn't matter that Woolsey was a lawyer, Sheppard's got you covered."

There's a look in his cool blue eyes that causes Teyla to stop what she is doing. "Are you insinuating that I actually took the drugs?"

He grins. "Aw, c'mon, you really think I'd believe that? I'm just saying that it doesn't matter if it's true or not, Woolsey's got it out for you." Michael is right. "Don't worry about it. Didn't McKay say he might've been able to pull something from the recording?"

If anyone could pull something from a damaged video file, it was Rodney McKay. Still, he was not a miracle worker. "He said it was a 'long shot.'"

Michael laughs. "Yeah, but in McKay speak that means he'll have it by the end of the day." He puts his feet down and the front legs of his chair land on the floor with a solid thud. "Want to go get that warrant signed to search Harding's place?"

Her head snaps up. "You found enough evidence?"

"Oh yeah," he sounds almost giddy. "What d'you want to bet that the sucker's still got the money stashed away?"

"I would say that is a solid bet."

John is at his desk when they return. "Got the warrant signed, Sarge," Michael hands it over for John to review.

"Good." John clears his throat. "Kenmore, shut the door on your way out. Teyla, I need you to stay."

As the door shuts, John runs a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up at odd angles. "Woolsey and Bates are out for blood. I don't know what the hell you did to piss them off but they're not going to let this go."

"They are accusing me of something that I did not do," Teyla can feel her anger rising. And with the anger is fear.

"Teyla," he sighs heavily. "You know that I know that you weren't involved. The problem is that the two of them are convinced that you're the only one around here with motive."

Teyla laughs. "The only one? Half of the people here feel they are underpaid—"

"You know what I meant." He momentarily places a hand on hers. "Look, McKay said that he might be getting somewhere with the video feed. Why don't you and Kenmore search Harding's apartment in the meantime. Keep your mind off it."

She knows that what he really means is keep her out of the way.

"Sarge say anything about the video?" Michael asks as she leaves Sheppard's office.

"Apparently Rodney believes that he is close."

"Well, no sense spending the rest of the day sitting around thinking about it when we have a job to do." Michael stands, blonde hair catching the light. The Texan reminds her of an old fashioned gunslinger as he says, "Let's catch ourselves a thief."


	6. New Faces

The chapters have been jumping back and forth past/present but they've sort of been consistent in that they discuss something that was brought up. So far everything's been from Teyla's perspective but in order to bring in Michael I had to switch to John's.

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, etc.

* * *

The first thing he notices when he enters the room is the cowboy hat. "Can I help you?" John asks. He doesn't have time for this.

The guy stands and extends his hand, broad smile on his face. "Sgt. Sheppard, nice to finally meet you. The name's Michael Kenmore." His smile falters and his hand drops. "I thought that you knew about the transfer, Sir?"

He really doesn't have time for this. "I have to make a phone call." He shuts his office door behind him, leaving the new guy rocking uncomfortably on his heels.

John doesn't give a preamble. "Why is there a Michael Kenmore sitting at Emmagen's desk."

He can hear Chief Weir give an exasperated sigh over the phone, "Don't act like you're surprised, Sgt. Sheppard. Kenmore was transferred to your division."

"I don't remember signing off on that."

There's silence. He can tell that she's frustrated. "That's because you didn't, John. I explicitly informed you that you had three weeks to find replacements when Ford and Emmagen went undercover and you didn't even bother to look at applications. You gave me no choice."

"You can't-"

"Sergeant," she warns, "Do I have to remind you that you've been on thin ice since you got here?"

She doesn't. Forced out of the NYPD for refusing to follow orders. Transferred out of the LAPD for disobeying a direct order. He would have been fired but it would have been bad publicity, his actions had saved lives.

"O'Neill suggested I take a chance on you and I did. But don't push it."

"Yes, Sir."

"Oh, and Sheppard?"

"Chief."

"Play nice."

He clears his throat and Kenmore stands again. "Sir."

"Lose the hat, it's against regulation. The cowboy boots, too." He hands Kenmore a file. "Welcome to the team."

He's picked up another new recruit before the week is out. They're…adequate. It's not the same. He misses Emmagen and Ford. Those two had seemed to be one step ahead of the game and it made his life easier.

They've also managed to royally piss off McKay and it isn't long before he has to make his way down to the lab. "Look Rodney, I get it. You aren't happy but you can't refuse to run evidence just because you don't like people."

"I'm sorry, are you talking about the evidence that your team contaminated? How am I supposed to do my job when your people can't do theirs," he snaps.

"McKay," John says. "I'm going to say this once—do your damn job." Then he takes a seat. "Things were easier with Ford and Emmagen."

Rodney snorts. "You don't say." He fiddles with one of his instruments. "Shouldn't you be out chasing criminals or something?"

John shrugs. "It's on the agenda."

This causes Rodney to stop what he's doing. "Wait a minute," he squints at John. "You're hiding out down here, aren't you."

"That," John says indignantly, "is ridiculous."

"No, oh no." Rodney points towards the door. "I am not letting you shirk your responsibilities just because you don't feel like dealing with your new team."

"There's nothing wrong with my new team," John insists. There's not. He likes them well enough.

He doesn't say it out loud but the next thing he knows Rodney says, "I miss them too." Then the scientist frowns. "Now get back to work so that I can get back to work."

John gives a fake salute. "You got it." He faces Rodney before he walks out the door. "And McKay. I better have the report on that analysis by the end of the day."


	7. Don't Want to Wait

And the plot thickens.

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

He was expecting Chief Weir and instead he finds himself facing the Chief, Lt. Bates, Woolsey, Dr. McKay, and Special Agent Dex.

"Please have a seat, Sgt. Sheppard." Weir seems unusually tense.

He takes a seat next to Dex. "Someone want to tell me what's going on?"

The chief is the first to speak. "Can you tell me whereabouts of—"

"If you still think that Teyla—"

"Michael Kenmore," Weir finishes.

John looks around. "Kenmore, what does he have to do with anything."

Rodney clears his throat and Weir gives him a nod to continue. "I managed to retrieve enough of the file for a rendered image." He hits a button on his tablet and a picture appears on the big screen.

He recognizes the cowboy boots and the blurred face. His heart starts to pound and pushes his chair back.

"Sgt. Sheppard, stay where you are." Weir commands. "Where is Michael Kenmore."

He can't think. The only thing he can think of is "With Teyla." That son of a bitch.

"Where."

The warrant, he had just looked at it earlier. "Harding," he says, "Harding, they got a warrant to search his place, he's a suspect in a robbery."

"I'm on it," Dex is on his feet. "You got an address?"

"Yeah, I'll drive."

Dex pauses, his gaze goes to Weir.

"No," the Chief says. Her knuckles turn white as she clasps her hands together. "John…there's a lot about this that you don't know."

"It can wait."

This time it's Ronon who speaks. "Trust me, you need to hear it. I can handle Michael."

It wouldn't be the first time that he's disobeyed an order, but he stays.

"Sgt. Sheppard," for the first time since he's met her, Chief Weir doesn't look entirely confident. "I'm sure that you remember that I was the one who had Officer Kenmore transferred to your team."

"You mean when you assigned him to my team without consulting me first."

She doesn't flinch. "Michael Kenmore is part of the Wraith. Ronon Dex received word of a possible mole in the SFPD and McKay was able to find incriminating information."

John doesn't like where this is going. "So what exactly are you saying?"

It's Bates who answers. "We knew that it was only a matter of time before Kenmore made a mistake that he couldn't cover up. We figured it would be a lot easier if we were able to keep track of him."

He feels his chest constrict and jaw tense. "You put a member of the Wraith on my team and didn't bother to tell me."

Weir holds her ground. "We couldn't tell you, John. We couldn't risk Michael finding out that he had been made."

"Great, that worked out just great. Because now Teyla's out there alone with him and she doesn't know."

"As far as Michael knows, no one suspects him." Bates is insistent.

"Michael knew what McKay was working on. You really think that he isn't smart enough to figure it out, that he's just going to come waltzing back in here." He shakes his head. "I'm not going to just sit back and let this play out when a member of my team is out there. You knowingly put her in danger," John's voice has risen slightly. "Come on Elizabeth, I would have expected it from Bates. But you?"

Her cool expression doesn't waver. "It's Chief Weir, Sergeant. And I'm sorry, but I can't let you go out there."

"Excuse me?"

"Did you really think that you were fooling anyone, Sheppard?" Bates jumps in.

He has no idea what he's talking about. Rodney averts his gaze. "I swear that if you accuse _me_ of being part of the Wraith, I'll hand in my badge right now. This isn't the Salem Witch Trials."

"You _are_ aware of the policy stating that relations between a senior officer and anyone of lower rank, is strictly forbidden?"

"Forbidden? Really, Woolsey, what century is this."

"It is grounds for dismissal," Woolsey follows up. "I notice that you did not bother to deny it."

John snorts. "Because it's ridiculous, I never had 'relations' with anyone on the force."

Rodney shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "What," John snaps.

"You didn't exactly try to conceal it very well," Bates says, smirking. "The armory has cameras, Sgt. Sheppard."

"I'm not discussing this with you."

"There's a reason for every rule. Relationships cloud judgment; you could put yourself and everyone else in danger if you go out there," Weir tries to be the voice of reason.

John isn't having it. "I don't like what you're insinuating. Officer Emmagen and I have a strictly professional relationship."

Weir shakes her head. "I'm sorry, John. Lorne's team is assisting Ronon."

"Right." John leans back. "Am I dismissed, then?"

Weir looks to Bates. "For now, but we aren't finished."

John is at the door when he pauses. "What you're talking about, what happened in the armory, that was years ago. Why not say anything then?"

"Because" Weir sighs, "I know you. And I knew that you would…handle it."

He feels their eyes boring into his back on his way out. They know. They have to know. He's not going to sit around when a member of the Wraith has one of his team.

"Sheppard!" Rodney pants as he jogs to catch up. "You're going after her, aren't you."

"What do you think?"

"I think I'm coming with you."

John pauses. "You know that we'll be disobeying orders."

"I'm aware of that."

"And that we're not going to have jobs afterwards."

Rodney laughs. "Speak for yourself; you know that they can't replace me."

John shakes his head and slaps his friend on the shoulder. "That's the spirit."

"You know," Rodney says as he slides into John's passenger seat. "I never did like Michael."


	8. Make Me Feel

This chapter is pretty short so I'll try to have the next one up soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or the characters, etc.

* * *

She sees him wince as he lifts the weapon onto the rack. "Keys?" He turns to her and after she hands them over she allows her fingers to skim lightly over his chest. Black shirt hiding the spreading bruise, black and green, a mottled palette.

"You almost died," Teyla says.

John touches the edge bandage on her arm, red seeping through white. "So did you. At least I caught mine in the vest."

"We almost died," she amends. And yet nothing has changed. Life is as it always was. And for some reason it scares her.

There is a moment when John looks at her and she can see in his eyes what they have both pushed back for so long. Suddenly she finds her back pressed against the locker, his hands tangled in her hair, and he kisses her like it is their last day on earth. It almost had been.

Feelings kept buried rise and she allows herself to be caught up in it.

John clears his throat as they leave the armory. "Teyla, this can't…whatever this is…"

"I understand, Sgt. Sheppard. It has to stop here."

"I-"

"John," she briefly allows her hand to grasp his. "I understand," and with that, she relinquishes her grip.


	9. Looking For A Reason Why

And since the last chapter was so incredibly short, I bring you two new (also short) chapters in record time!

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA or the characters, etc.

* * *

"Turn right on 11th," Teyla says, glancing down at the sheet in her lap. "Harding's apartment is on the left."

She watches as they drive by. "You passed it." She tosses the sheet with the address onto the dashboard and flips open the map. "You can take the next street and…" Her partner continues to drive, eyes focused ahead. "What are you doing?"

He glances over at her. "Believe me when I say—I'm real sorry about this."

"Michael," she's using the same voice that she takes on when talking to someone who's about to run. Her hand moves slowly to the Taser on her belt, her body gets ready to spring for the wheel. "What are you talking about?"

He moves before she can. He has his gun trained on her. His other hand still on the wheel. "For this."

"Michael," she keeps her tone even. "Please explain what is going on."

"You were going to find out sooner or later, I'm sure the others already know." He shakes his head. "McKay shouldn't have gone digging around."

Pieces are starting to fall into place. "You took the drugs," she tries to remain calm. "Why?"

He laughs. "If anyone should understand, it'd be you darlin'."

The meaning does not escape her. "You work for the Wraith."

"Bingo." He looks pleased with himself.

Teyla does not take her eyes off him. He does not take his eyes off the road. "You know that you cannot get away with this."

"That's what I've got you for."

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Dex, Weir, the rest of them, maybe I wouldn't get away with it. Acceptable losses and all." He smirks. "But Sheppard, he's going to come for you. And everyone has a price."

"You believe that Sheppard will let you walk away, because of me."

"I know that he will," he says. "I don't know what the two of you had goin' on and I don't particularly care 'bout the details. But I know that there's something and that if it comes down to it, if it's your life or letting me go, he's gonna let me walk."

"Then you do not know Sgt. Sheppard very well."

"Deny it all you want." He sounds sure of himself, "but I'll take my chances."

The Taser is out of her belt and in her hand and she decides to make her move. She grunts as she's blinded by pain. She cannot move, cannot see, and cannot think. Her head is throbbing from where he struck her with the butt of his sidearm.

"Sorry about that, but I can't let you do what you're fixin' to do." The Taser has slipped from her hand and she feels metal around her wrists and hears the click of the handcuffs. "Like I said, you're my ticket out of this."

She is still hazy and confused but she has to ask. "We were partners. Friends. How could you do this?"

"I'm sure some of the buddies you made while with the Wraith were asking the exact same thing." Michael still doesn't look at her. "I am sorry, you know. Out of everyone…" he shakes his head. "I liked you the best."


	10. Line In The Sand

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

She blocks his first punch easily and within seconds she has him down on the mat. Blonde hair sticks to his forehead and he stretches his hands over his head. She reaches down and helps him to his feet. "You this rough with Sarge?" Michael rolls his shoulders. "Think that landing tweaked my back." He twists to stretch, his shirt pulling tight over his muscles.

"I am sure you will get used to it," Teyla smiles, "Sheppard did."

"Yeah, well, pretty soon your luck is gonna run out," Michael teases. "Another round?"

She raises her eyebrows, "If you wish."

This time it feels different. Like he has stopped holding back. He is fast, agile, powerful. More so than he has previously displayed. One mistake on her part, that is all that it takes, and she is on her knees. She sees an opening and is prepared to take it when her sparring partner disappears from her line of vision. A massive Ronon Dex takes his place.

"The hell do you think you're doing," he has Michael by the upper arm, grip so tight that Michael's face contorts with pain.

"Ronon," Teyla springs to her feet. "Let him go," she grabs Dex by the shoulder and tugs. "Ronon," she repeats, "Let. Him. Go."

Ronon relaxes his grip. "You okay?" he asks her.

"Of course, we were sparring." She turns to Michael. "Are _you_okay?"

"Yeah," Michael rubs his arm. "I'm fine." His focus turns to Dex and then back to Teyla. "I'll see you later?"

"Yes, the Copper Penny around 7?"

The Texan gives one last, confused, look at Dex. "See you there," he says lightly to Teyla.

Ronon watches Michael's retreat and then turns back to Teyla. "What was that?"

"I believe that I should be the one asking that question," she picks up her towel and water bottle. "Instead, I will ask you what you are doing here."

"Looking for Sheppard. Thought maybe he'd be in here with you."

She takes note of Ronon's casual attire. "I take it you are not here to work on a case together."

He grunts, "No."

She knows that while she was undercover, the DEA agent and Sergeant Sheppard had become friends. Or as close to friends as Dex would allow.

"Lunch break. Going surfing," he offers.

Teyla nods. "He is probably finishing up some paperwork."

Ronon stuffs his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts. "You and Kenmore going somewhere tonight?"

"Yes," she says. "We are going out of drinks."

"I don't like it," Ronon says.

Teyla wipes the sweat from her face. "Well," she says, "Michael Kenmore is my partner. And my friend." She tosses the towel over her shoulder. "And that is of no concern of yours."

Ronon does not say anything for a minute. Just crosses his arms. Biceps flexing. "Guess you're right. But like I said, don't like it." He changes tactics before she can respond. "You still going to meetings?"

She nods. "Yes. I am still sober, if that is what you were asking."

"Just want to check." He looks at his watch. "I'll see if Sheppard's in his office."

Teyla heads for the showers, feeling as though there was something that Ronon was not telling her.


	11. Set In Motion

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

Ronon has Lorne on the phone. "Got anything?"

"Not yet." He can hear the radio crackle on Lorne's end and muffled voices. Then, "You aren't going to like this."

Dex prepares to start his car. "Let me guess, they aren't headed this way."

"Uniforms' spotted them heading past 11th. Orders?"

It's strange, he thinks, giving orders to the local PD. That and the fact that they're taking it pretty well. Then again, he was the one who got them into this mess. "The tracker in the car, anyone got a read on it?"

"Michael was smart, disabled it."

Shit. "Phones?"

"Can't track those either."

He was Ronon Dex. The man who had single-handedly tracked and brought down the lieutenant of a major drug cartel in the jungles of South America. With nothing but his badge and an assortment of weapons.

He hates cities.

"Okay," new plan. "Let me talk to some of my guys at the DEA, figure out where he might be headed. I'll keep you updated."

"Yes, Sir." There's a short pause. "Sir?"

"Yeah."

"I should probably warn you, Sheppard's on his way."

He's not surprised. Not in the least. "Let me guess. He's supposed to be sitting this one out."

"Just came over the radio."

Ronon grunts, "I'm not going to be the one to stand in his way."

"Me neither, Sir. Just thought you should know."

He hits the end call button and curses. This isn't going to end well. He should've listened to his instincts. He should've told Sheppard in the beginning instead of listening to Weir and Bates. He should've pulled the 'I'm the DEA and you're going to listen to me' card.

_The less people who know the better_. That's what they had told him and he had let it slide. It might have been true. It might have been the smart thing to do. But Sheppard was the closest thing that he had to a friend and Ronon had known how the man had felt about Teyla. Had known that if things went south there was nothing anyone could say that would rein John Sheppard in.

He should have told him.


	12. Tell Me Something I Don't Know

As long as the chapters are so short I'll keep posting two at a time.

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"So. You and Teyla?" Ronon asks over his beer as they watch the waves.

John swallows his drink. "What?"

Ronon shrugs. "C'mon, I figured that the two of you would've hooked up by now." John doesn't say anything but Ronon doesn't second guess himself.

Even when John says, "Maybe we're close because we're a team. But that's it."

He doesn't buy it. "Really. That's it."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"Heard that you were the one who helped her get clean."

"I guess."

"Must've been hard." Ronon crushes his can with one hand. "And a few years ago, heard you guys almost bit it."

"You could say that, pretty close call."

"Sometimes situations like that—"

"Drop it." John takes his sunglasses off and stands, grabbing his board. "Whatever you think that you know, you don't."

"Okay." Ronon tosses his can and they watch as it arcs into the plastic trash bin by the beach access. "Let's surf."


	13. Drive

I got a little stuck with these chapters, sorry for the wait!

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"Please tell me you have location," John says to Rodney.

"Working on it."

"Need it now, Rodney," he pressures.

The scientist looks up from his tablet. "Oh, I'm sorry, do you want to do this?" Rodney snaps. "Because if you know of a faster way to remotely turn on a GPS that's been disabled, be my guest."

John bites back a retort and takes a deep breath before saying. "The faster we find her, the better."

"I get that," Rodney doesn't look up from what he's doing. "But things like this take time, I can't just magically press a button..." he pauses. "Got it!" His fingers move in a blur and then, "The coordinates are being uploaded annnnd—"

"You're a genius," John says as a blinking dot appears on screen.

"Don't mention it."

There's silence and it starts to eat away until Rodney finally clears his throat. "I have to ask, what exactly _is_ going on between you and Teyla?"

"Nothing." John answers. He doesn't owe Rodney anything, especially not an explanation. Maybe it's because he's never talked about it. Maybe it's because he denied it for so long. He doesn't know what makes him continue. But he does. "Look, Teyla and I, the thing in the armory, it didn't exactly stop there."

"I didn't think so."

"We had a casual relationship. Then she went undercover and we had to stop, it was too dangerous."

"And after?"

"You saw her, McKay. She was…different." He can still remember when she first returned to his team. She had hidden it well, for a while, but it wasn't long before he figured it out. Before he started noticing the little things. The way that her hands would shake, the way that she would take off early, the way that she started letting her paperwork pile up.

The aggression. The arguing.

He remembers the time that she went off on Weir during a meeting. The way that she had gone off on him.

"What about when she started going to meetings and stuff. Got clean."

He remembers that too.

He also remembers the first time that they had finally had a night out together, just the two of them. Remembers thinking that maybe they could get back what they had lost. "We're just friends."

The blinking dot is slowing. Twenty-minutes out. "Whatever we had, it's not going to get in the way."

"I didn't say it would."

"You were thinking it." They're all thinking it. The Chief, Bates, Dex. "I'm going to get her back."


	14. Blue Jeans and White T-Shirts

Disclaimer: I do not own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

She knows that she should not be here, that it will change everything. Yet, she is okay with it.

Her knock is light, hesitant. Taking a step back, she waits.

He looks surprised to see her. "Teyla? I didn't think you were coming."

She holds her ground. "I saw no reason not to come."

John let's her in. "I just ordered pizza and wings." Teyla takes a seat on his couch as John takes a beer out of the refrigerator. He hands it to her along with a bottle opener. "Game on."

It is a routine that they had started a year before, watching the Sunday night football game. Sometimes others would join them. Lorne, Mitchell. Sometimes they could even convince McKay.

Tonight it is just the two of them. Blue jeans and t-shirts.

They watch in silence. Occasionally John will let out a yell of disappointment before taking a sip of his beer or he'll turn to her and ask, "Can you believe that?"

The pizza and wings arrive and she is reaching for a slice when John finally broaches the subject. "Tonight isn't about the game."

"No," she replies.

"It's about yesterday."

It is. She knows what she said. She knows that she told him that she understands. She knows that it can't happen. That he is her superior. That there are rules and regulations. It runs beyond that. What want could destroy what they have built. Her confidence begins to fade and she stands. "I believe that I should go."

"Wait." John Sheppard is not a man who reveals his thoughts, his feelings. Teyla can see that he is collecting himself. Trying to choose his words. He finally settles on, "Game's not over."

After their team has lost and she helps John put the leftover pizza and wings into the refrigerator and there's nothing to distract them- that's when it can no longer be ignored.

"You know why we can't do this," he says.

"I know."

John is watching her and she is watching him. One of them has to move first and it ends up being John.

She wakes up in his bed, the sun just rising and filtering through the cracks in the blinds, and she wonders if maybe this is a mistake. Her movement wakes him and his arms circle her waist and he pulls her back down, her body resting against his.

For the first time in her life she feels as though everything is as it should be.

"I'm glad that you didn't leave last night."

"I am glad that you stopped me."

She knows that this feeling is not going to last forever. But she will savor it so long as it does.


	15. Whereabouts Unknown

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

The car slows to a stop and Teyla is aware of Michael's boots hitting the ground. Her door opens and his hands grab her by the arm, dragging her out into the open air. "Where are we," she asks.

"Don't worry about it." He keeps looking over his shoulder; it's only a matter of time before they come for her.

"Am I to assume that this is not our destination?" Teyla's head still aches as she scans their surroundings. There is nothing there, just an empty, outdoor parking lot. Grass fights through the cracks and she can hear the sound of the ocean.

She is forced to clench her jaw as he pushes her down to the pavement, knees grinding against the rough texture of the lot. "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet. Thought you'd be excited to see your old friends."

Moving into a seated position, Teyla feels the concrete parking stop dig into her lower back. Her fingers open and she discards the pebbles until she finds a small rock.

"Old friends?" She asks.

"You know that Dex and his guys didn't get them all." Michael gives one more scan around the parking lot before he approaches the SUV. He starts picking the lock and she watches as he pulls the door open. "You still don't get it," he yells from his stooped position. She does not remember hotwiring cars to be part of training she received at the SFPD. "The Wraith are still alive and well and I'm going to finish what I started. And when I do," the vehicle hums to life, "when I do I'm movin' up in the world."

Teyla watches him closely. "You truly believe that they are going to give you what was promised. That they are not going to go back on their word, take the drugs, and end both of our lives."

"You'll see," he sounds confident.

The engine that she had heard in the distance grows closer and it is then that they see the car pulling towards them. She allows Michael to haul her to her feet and she drops the rock that she had been holding.

"Release me," Teyla urges. "If you let me go now, there is a still a chance for you."

He rips open the door. "I let you go, they kill me right here and now." Before he can push her into the passenger seat, John steps out of his car.

"Michael Kenmore!" Sergeant Sheppard is out of his usual suit and tie and wearing BDUs. Teyla recalls the last time she had seen him in tactical gear; it had not been a good day for anyone. "Let her go." His weapon is trained on Michael and at the moment he is all soldier. She sometimes wondered about his military background, now it is clear.

"Like hell, Sheppard."

Another vehicle pulls in and Dex emerges, gun drawn. "You want to do what he says. Otherwise you've got Narcotics and the DEA to deal with." Dex continues. "And my men want to burn what's left of the Wraith to the ground."

Michael has moved Teyla in front of him as a shield. "Not gonna happen."

"Hear that Sheppard?" Ronon takes a step forward, "Sounds like Kenmore's got a death wish."

Michael smirks. "Just take the damn shot already."

Teyla sees it in Dex's eyes and she holds as still as she can when John says, "Don't."

"Sheppard?"

"I said don't." John has lowered his weapon.

"Didn't think so," Michael enters the vehicle first and he pulls her in after him as he slides over to the driver's seat. "That's why I need you darlin.'"

As they pull away she hears the shots being fired and leans forward as glass shatters. All the while Michael laughs


	16. Artificial Life

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

Teyla is acutely aware of the sterile smell of the air and the dim fluorescent overhead lights. She was not sure what she had been expecting. Maybe an abandoned warehouse or rundown shack. Certainly not an office building.

"This is the friend I was telling you about," Ford is saying. It has only been a few weeks but he looks different, sounds different. Something in the way that he moves, the bags under his eyes, the tone of his voice. Arrogant, authoritative. "Trust me Steve, she's clean. No ties to the police, FBI, or DEA. And if you don't believe me," he throws down some papers onto the table. "You can just take a look at her history."

The man across the table picks them up. Long, thin, fingers flip the pages. His clear blue eyes are set off by pale skin, his hair so blonde that it looks white, and she is sure that his suit costs more than her rent for the month. It feels as though she is at a job interview, until he says, "Possession of heroin with intent to distribute and solicitation. It seems we're out of your league."

"I ask that you keep reading." She sounds calm, she knows, but a small part of her is waiting for him to say that he is aware of what she really is.

His eyes meet hers and she feels a knot begin to form in her stomach. "As you wish." After a moment he looks up. "I see." He motions towards the man standing at the door. "Todd, meet Teyla. I believe that she will be an asset to our…business."

Steve and Todd look as though they could be brothers. "Come," Todd's voice is cold. "I will show you the facility."

Months later, when Ford is gone and Steve is growing suspicious, Todd is the closest thing that she has to a friend.


	17. Little Faith

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"A clean shot, Sheppard," Dex's voice begins to rise as he paces. "That was our chance!" He stops, "I thought you said that you wouldn't let it get in the way."

John holsters his gun and walks towards the parking stop, kneeling he motions Dex over to him. "It didn't. I saw Teyla drop something over here when Rodney and I pulled in. And then I realized what it was."

"What is it?" Ronon has knelt down next to him and his brow furrows as he studies the markings. "I don't get it."

"Teyla, Ford, and I had this thing," John begins. "When they first went under we came up with a way to communicate with one another."

Ronon looks confused. "You weren't part of that operation."

"No, I wasn't. But it didn't stop them from feeding me information. How do you think my team made some of the arrests that they did?"

Ronon shakes his head and gives a grim smile. "And I thought you guys were just getting lucky."

"That's what we wanted you to think." John points at the symbols, "You know what this means?"

"That you guys were crazy for actually coming up with your own language."

John ignores the comment. "She wants us to follow them."

"Yeah, because she was kidnapped by a sociopath and didn't think that we'd show up before he took off with her again."

"No," Sheppard shakes his head. "It's not that. She wanted us to let them get in that SUV." John stands. "They sent him into the PD and we took them down before he could ever make his move. So why take the drugs now."

"Because whoever was left managed to pull themselves together."

"And Michael's going to take us straight to them."

Ronon looks to Rodney who was standing at the car. "You got a way to track them?"

"Yes," Rodney nods. "I do."

"Good." Ronon pauses on his way back to his vehicle. "You okay with this, Sheppard?"

He's not. Not really. But that's not what matters. What matters is that Aidan Ford had died because of the Wraith. That Teyla could never get back to who she was before the undercover operation. So no, he's not okay with it, but he knows what has to be done. "It's pretty much our only option," John says. "McKay, radio Lorne and give him the coordinates."


	18. Go Outside

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

They do not make eye contact as they pass one another. Their hands brush and she takes the slip of paper that is offered. On it is a symbol and a time. Ford has access to things that she does not. Information that can continue to be passed along.

"Come." Todd is waiting for her at the end of the hall and she wonders if he has ever had suspicions. She stuffs her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket.

"Of course."

The air is crisp, the sun is bright. And part of her cannot believe that this has become her life.

Todd tells her to stand watch as he enters the bar and Teyla takes the opportunity to slip into the alleyway. Graffiti is scrawled across the wall and her own writing is lost among the jumble. John will find it.

When Todd exits she is where she was before. "The meeting with Williams went well?"

"Yes." He does not elaborate.

She knows that the next day both Williams and the man Steve sends to the drop will be in holding cells. She knows that Steve and "The Queen" will still be sitting safe in their offices. But she also knows that one day, one day someone will roll during interrogation. And one day she will be free of this.


	19. Challengers

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"We're officially out of our jurisdiction," Rodney says.

"I have jurisdiction," Ronon's voice comes over the radio. "And as of now you're part of my team."

"Not according to Weir," John mutters. What he doesn't understand is that she's the one who's all about the ethics and the morals. He's just trying to do the right thing.

They see the SUV that Michael took off in and pull up in front of the building. John's ready to go but Rodney tells him to wait. "Don't do something stupid," McKay looks at him pointedly. "Ronon and Lorne are right behind us."

He briefly contemplates listening to what Rodney has to say but disregards it. "Sorry McKay, can't waste anymore time."

Rodney protests but follows him anyways.

He's prepared to walk in guns blazing but instead finds himself with a gun drawn on a secretary, her hands in the air and her eyes wide with fear. "Officer, I-"

"Detective." John pulls out his badge, "You see a man and a woman come through here?"

She nods, "They're in a meeting with Mr. Smith."

"Where?"

"Board room, top floor."


	20. Take My Hand and Lead Me Home

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"Well, I must say that this is a surprise," Todd was seated at the end of the table, elbows resting on the lacquered wood, fingers steepled. "And I am afraid that you have come to the wrong place."

Michael throws the duffel bags in front of him. "C'mon, I did what you guys asked."

"As I said before, that time has passed." Todd spread his arms, "This place, this a legitimate business. I have turned things around and I plan to keep it that way."

"Don't lie to me," Michael was standing, hands braced against the back of a chair. "After all that I did for you—"

"Not for me," Todd says, calmly. "For The Queen, yes."

"Then maybe I should take my business up with her," Michael snaps.

"Maybe you should," Todd's piercing eyes don't waver. "But you will let Ms. Emmagen go."

Teyla looks up. If she had not known Todd better, she would have sworn that he had winked at her.

"I don't think so. Not yet." He grabs the bags and shoulders them, then takes Teyla by the arm. "We're goin'."

"Right." Todd doesn't blink. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

"I'm sure that I will."

They don't make it to the door.

"Sarge," Michael stops, tightening his grip on Teyla.

"Michael." John moves into the room as Todd stands. "And Mr. Smith. Or if I remember correctly, Todd."

"That is correct."

"Back to your old tricks?"

"Hardly. As I was just explaining to Mr. Kenmore here, I am now running a legitimate company."

"You know, I think that's what your friend tried telling the DA. What his name? Oh yeah. Steve."

Michael has slowly been maneuvering towards the door at the opposite end of the room, keeping Teyla in front of him. "If you're busy catching up, I think I'll head out."

"Kenmore, move and you're dead." John fires. "Shit." They're both gone, a trail of red leading out the open door. "Shit," he repeats. "Did you see-"

"No," Rodney shakes his head. "And this is why we should've waited for Ronon and Lorne."

"Too late for that. Rodney, radio them and tell them to cover the back, they should be here by now," he starts running, "And keep an eye on Todd."

He's in the hall as he sees Ronon coming down the corridor, he doesn't stop as he yells, "They went down the stairs."

"Lorne's got the exit covered," Ronon's long strides give him the advantage and he reaches the stairs first. He rips open the door and John runs through.

He's sure that at the speed their going, one of them is going to end up with a broken ankle or worse, but they make it to the bottom unscathed and slightly out of breath.

"Out the back," John points towards the EXIT sign. His body slams open the metal door and he pulls himself to a stop as Ronon narrowly avoids crashing into him.

"Call an ambulance," he says, heart pounding, "And stay with them." A sick dizzy feeling is settling over him but he forces himself to keep going. Get Teyla back, take down Michael. That was what he came here to do. One of them still wasn't crossed off.

He doesn't get very far before he gives up. He hears the sirens approaching. "Lorne and Teyla?"

"Lorne's got a nasty bump on his head. Probably going to have a concussion."

"And Teyla? I fired a shot..."

Ronon shakes his head, still kneeling next to her. "You must have clipped Michael."

Then, "Did he-"

"No. But something's not right."

"What do you mean?"

"Sheppard," Ronon rubs the back of his neck. "It looks like a drug overdose."


	21. Sinking Friendships

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters etc.

* * *

She feels alive. Strong. Like she can take on an army. Like she _wants_ to take on an army. "You feeling okay?" Ford asks. There's something in the way that he says it.

"What did you do."

"I'm just showing you what you're missing."

"Ford," she does not know what is happening but somehow she has her arm against Ford's throat as she backs him into the wall. "What. Did. You. Do."

"Looks like it worked," he's grinning. "What'd I tell you, feels amazing, doesn't it?"

Teyla releases him. "We came here for a job. We came here to put an end to the Wraith drug and you-"

"You don't get it," Ford smiles widely. "We're here to take down the Wraith Organization. Not the drug. This is the answer."

"What are you talking about?"

"Think about it. You feel stronger, don't you? It gets better."

"Ford—"

"It's perfect for us, for our job."

"It has clearly clouded your mind and your judgment."

"No, it's made me see things clearly." His smile has fallen. "You'll see, eventually you'll see."

She is the one who tells Ronon Dex. She knows that he will pass the information on to Sheppard. "Ford is dead. He overdosed on the Wraith drug."

And still, after her brief meeting with Dex, she puts the needle into her skin. Ford was right, after all. His downfall was not knowing how to control it.


	22. Wait It Out

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

John is sitting by her bed flipping through a magazine.

"Sergeant Sheppard?" her voice is hoarse.

"Hey," he puts the magazine down. "How're you feeling?"

Teyla squeezes her eyes shut. "I cannot go through it again," she says.

"What do you mean," he says carefully.

Teyla opens her eyes but does not look at him. "I am sure that you know."

"Yeah." John leans forward, "We had to call Beckett in. The doctors here weren't really sure how to handle it."

She changes the subject. "You wounded him, you know. It did not look good."

"Well, he still got away." He clears his throat, "Teyla…"

"Do you know that for a moment, I was glad? Before the adverse affects hit." She shakes her head against the pillow. "And before, before that amount would have had almost no effect."

"Tolerance is gone."

"John?"

"Yeah?"

She moves her hand towards him and he catches it and squeezes gently. She smiles at him. "Thank you for coming for me."

He pats her hand. "Any time."

It is not until John leaves that night that she allows herself to think of Michael's parting words. In that split second when he exchanged his gun for the needle and muscled it in her arm. As he plunged the drug into her system. "See you soon, darlin'. You know that you won't be able to stay away for long."


	23. Turn Around

Sorry it's been so long...and sadly these are not the most exciting chapters. But things will pick up again!

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA or the characters, etc.

* * *

John comes by her apartment to see her. There is something that he wishes to say, she can tell, but he does not and she does not press it. Instead she asks about surfing, a safe topic, and his eyes light up.

She is not, however, above asking Rodney.

"Rodney," she looks at him across the table and he mumbles a "what?" around a mouthful of orange chicken. "Has something happened with John?"

McKay swallows and immediately reaches for his drink. "What? No."

She lowers her tone, "Rodney."

He clears his throat. "Well, I guess you'll find out sooner or later. Sooner, since tomorrow is your first day back." Rodney notices her pointed look and he shrugs. "Sheppard decided to resign from law enforcement."

It was not what she was expecting to hear. "Sheppard resigned, or he was let go?"

"Resigned. Weir was going to put him on administrative leave until they could figure out what to do with him, and he decided to save them the trouble." Rodney sees that she is about to say something and keeps going. "Sheppard was on thin ice to begin with, don't blame yourself."

She does not. She knows of Sheppard's past…difficulties...but it she does not feel any better about it.

"I assume that he has found new employment?"

"Yes, he has."

Rodney seems evasive and so she presses. "Doing what?"

"He uh, he's working for his dad's company. His brother's running it now and Sheppard decided that maybe he would…you know…family business…that kind of thing." He changes the subject, "You're sure you're ready to go back?"

She allows the change of topic. "Yes, I have grown tired of being without work."

"Uh huh, so uh, you're uh, you're not…you know…cravings, things like that?"

He looks uncomfortable. "Rodney," she says, "It was not my choice. And it was not a pleasant experience, if anything it has reinforced how terrible the Wraith drug is."

"Good," he says, "good."


	24. Can You Tell

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

She knows exactly what to do, what to say. "I do not have a problem," is how it starts. And then she changes it to, "Maybe you are right." And finally, "Perhaps I do. No, you are right, I do have a problem." They let her go, none the wiser. As far as they know, she has come to accept that she is powerless over drugs.

John is not convinced. And he is angry. Frustrated. Scared. "I almost watched you die," he says. "You came to me to detox. You told me when I took you to rehab that you were ready, that you would work the program."

"I am," she says.

"No," John shakes his head, "no." He runs a hand through his hair. "My mother was an alcoholic," he says. "Don't think you can pull one over on me."

"John, I—"

"Don't lie to me." He looks her straight in the eyes and she feels a chill, "Do not lie to me, Teyla. Either you work the program, or you're out. For good."

"And what about us?" she would never have asked that question without the drugs. But she could feel the anger rising and she cannot control it. "You are just going to throw it away?"

"There isn't an us, anymore." He says. "I'm going to drive you to a meeting, you're going to go, or I report this to Weir."

"Report it," she snaps.

"I'm going to let you sleep on that."

The next morning and John is knocking on her door. "You're going," he says.

"I know."

He goes with her. Twice a week, every week.


	25. Congratulations

Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

It has been at least half a year since he last went with her to an NA meeting. But there he is at her door. "I was not expecting you," she says.

"Yeah, well...thought that maybe you'd want some support."

"That is the purpose of going to the meeting."

"Okay," he says, "maybe I just wanted to spend some time with a friend."

They leave it at that until afterwards. John had insisted on driving and he also insisted on taking her to dinner after. "You can ask," she says.

"About what?"

She smiles, "You want to ask about how things are at the precinct, do you not?"

"That transparent?"

"Things are going well," she says. Which is the truth. It had been difficult at first. The aftermath of Michael's betrayal had left a dent, and not just in moral. "Weir and Bates were questioned by Internal Affairs," she adds, "and no, not by Woolsey."

"And?"

"Bates is gone."

"Wow," he clears his throat, "Can't say that I'm disappointed about that."

"And you?" she asks. "How are you managing working for Dave?"

"Fine," John taps his fork against his plate and then sets it down. "Okay, so I hate it."

She is not surprised to hear it. "Why your father's company, John. There are many paths you could have chosen."

He snorts, "Yeah, like I'm going to get hired after getting kicked out of three different districts."

"You were not 'kicked' out."

"No, but it would have come down to that." He swallows. "My father isn't doing so well. It was the right thing to do."

If there is one thing that Teyla was always certain of when it came to John Sheppard, it was his strict avoidance of ever mentioning his family. "I am sorry to hear that."

"Anyways, Rodney tells me that you got promoted. Congratulations on making detective."


	26. It Takes Two

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"You look…different," Teyla says.

"Yeah?" John is pulling on his suit jacket.

"Yes." Teyla hands him a file. "Here is the report on the Hennessey case."

"Great," John takes it from her and puts it into his filing cabinet. "I'll take a look at it tomorrow."

"Are you alright?" Teyla asks. John seems…off. Anxious.

He sighs. "My father's company has this thing tonight."

It is the first time that she has heard John mention his family. "I see, and this is a…bad…thing?"

He shakes his head, "Anything involving my father is a bad thing." He nervously adjusts his tie. "And I hate all the corporate galas. It's all people in designer clothes throwing money around."

She thinks that she can understand why John hates it. He has always seemed more comfortable in the field or on the beach with a surfboard. Picturing him in board shorts was natural. Seeing him here, in a suit, was not.

There is a knock on the door and Teyla turns. The woman at the door is a brunette; she's wearing a cocktail dress that does not seem to quite fit the beach vibe that she exudes. "Sorry," she says, "I'm not interrupting your work, am I?"

"No," Teyla smiles. "I was just dropping off some paperwork."

"Oh, that's good to hear, we're already running late." She holds out her hand, "Chaya," she says.

Teyla introduces herself and then adds, "I hope you two have a wonderful time tonight."

"I'm sure we will," Chaya says with a smile.


	27. These Parties End The Same

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

Dave is staring at John and finally John reacts. "Okay, what now?"

"I thought you were going to bring Teyla to this thing."

"Teyla and I aren't together."

"When you mentioned her the other day I kind of assumed that you were."

"Well, you assumed wrong." John knew there was a reason he never talked about this stuff with his family.

"I know what you're doing."

"Do you."

"Yeah, first there was Nancy, she made sense. And then Chaya, the hot yoga instructor. Then there was Teyla, who you never introduced us to. And now there's…"

"Larrin."

"Larrin. Who…really, John?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that she's at a gala wearing a leather mini-dress."

"It's…" John racks his brain trying to remember what his date had told him. "Prada. Or Gucci. Or something like that."

Dave frowns, "Still. It's leather."

"I'm not seeing your point."

"You're afraid that things with Teyla are going to turn out badly. Just like with Nancy. So instead you bring around the yoga instructors and the…whatever it is that Larrin does."

He decides not to tell his brother that she moonlights as a roller derby girl. "What about you," John shoots back. "What model are you onto now? Calvin Klein? Ralph Lauren?"

"Shut up," Dave snaps. "Her name is Vanessa and we've been dating for two years. You know that." He shakes his head. "Good luck with the speech."


	28. Private Eyes

Not where I originally intended the story to go...maybe I've been watching too many crime dramas. Don't worry, though, Michael will make a return at some point!

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

Teyla is flipping through the crime scene photographs for what seems like the hundredth time. "How are things coming?" She looks up to find Sergeant Mitchell.

"Something is not right," she says.

"Yeah, about that." Cam drops the box that he's holding onto her desk, "Congrats."

"Sir?" she asks, confused.

Cam takes a seat in an empty chair. "You've just inherited the Replicators case."

"I do not understand."

"Back before Carter moved over to Narcotics, we were tracking a group of serial killers that we called Replicators."

"I am familiar with the case. They would hack into peoples' computers, personal information, everything. Sometimes they would impersonate close friends and relatives of their victims in order to gain access into their homes."

"Right."

"And this case, you believe it is related."

"I would say so."

"But they were all arrested and imprisoned. I believe some even faced the death sentence."

"All but one."

She picks up a file and reads the name. "Asuran, Oberoth"

"Codename, but it's the only one we've got." He stands, "Oh, and you've got two FBI agents on their way." He shrugs, "They were on the original case and I had to call them in. Their names are Daniel Jackson and Vala Mal Doran."


	29. Team

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"One day I'm going to steal this one away from you," Cam is pointing at Sheppard, bottle of beer in hand, his arm slung around Teyla's shoulders.

John just smiles his quiet smile as he flips the burgers on the grill. "Yeah you keep thinking that."

Cam is talking to Teyla when he says, "When you make detective, you come on over to Homicide."

She laughs as she moves away from him and grabs a plate for John. "Thank you, however, we are a team and shall remain that way."

Rodney starts to grumble about how he's "starving" and tells John to hurry it up, while Amelia and Laura call her over to the pool.

They leave separately but end up together at John's apartment. "You know," John says. "You should take Cam up on his offer, after the undercover job."

She feels hurt. "You really believe that to be the best decision?"

"I don't _want_ you to. You're great at your job, one of the best we have." He grabs her waist and pulls her close. "It would be like trading a star player for a mediocre one."

"Then why should I transfer?"

"Come on, Teyla. I know that's what you want." He kisses her, then. "Besides, once you're off my team I'm technically no longer your boss."

She wraps her arms around his waist and looks up at him. "I think I could get used to that."

"Good." He sighs. "I can't wait until the undercover case is closed."

"I have not left yet," she reminds him.

"Doesn't matter, it's already been too long."


	30. Just Dropped In

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"The Replicators," Daniel Jackson points at the screen, "Hit New York, Miami, Houston, and finally San Francisco."

"Oh you're boring them, Daniel." Vala calls from her spot in the corner.

Teyla can't help but think that they are the oddest pairing that she has ever seen. While Daniel looks more like a professor than an FBI Agent, Vala looks as though she belongs on the other side of an interrogation table. Not to mention their personalities seem to clash.

"Vala," he looks as though he's trying to repress his frustration. "I think they might need to know the background—"

"Look," Vala takes the remote from his hand and flips through slides until she lands on one that seems to satisfy her. "Here we go. The Replicators, a group originally made up of six individuals who called themselves one through six. They were later joined by the ones known as Niam and Oberoth." She flips slides. "The original six infiltrated various businesses and corporations, very tech savvy these guys." She flips again.

Daniel steps up, "Then the truly disturbing—they started to impersonate friends and relatives to gain access to peoples' homes in order to gain further information. They would then murder their victims."

"Thanks to Samantha Carter we were able to arrest and convict them."

"But," Vala interjects, "Oberoth remained at large and now appears to have resurfaced."

It seems like hours have gone by and Teyla thinks that she has a good grasp on the case. Daniel approaches her. "I hear that you're helping Cam out on this one?"

"Yes," Teyla responds, not sure where this is going.

Daniel nods, "I heard about your work with the Wraith."

"Yes, I was part of that operation."

"Not many people could have pulled that off. Great work."

"Thank you."

"Can I just ask, why a Homicide Detective? With your resume, you could have gone anywhere."

Teyla just picks up the box of files, "I have my reasons."


	31. Poker Face

This chapter is a little harder to distinguish, but it takes place in the past.

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"Why Homicide?" John asks. She is sitting cross legged on his floor and she looks up from the cards in her hand.

Teyla is silent a moment. Their conversations are typically not heavy, something that she has enjoyed about being with John. But they are now partners in more ways than one and she decides to grant him with a real answer. "You know that I am from a small community."

"Yes."

"My father was a leader," she begins. "A good man." She has not told any of her colleagues this before. "He was killed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," John murmurs. He hadn't known.

"It was a long time ago," she says. "I thought that I could… make up for it in some other capacity, but in the end I realized that this was the only way."

"Joining the police force?"

She nods.

There's silence for a moment and then John says, "You know, if you decide that this police thing isn't working out for you, there's always professional poker." He throws his cards down. "I fold."

Teyla laughs. She is lucky to have a man like John Sheppard.


	32. Model Homes

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"Sometimes I think this apartment is the only reason he took the job," a man has approached them with a smile. "Well, this and the car." He shakes their hands. "Dave Sheppard."

He is exactly as Teyla had pictured. Good looking and clean cut. "Teyla, right?"

"You are correct," she bows her head. "And this is Cameron Mitchell."

They are having a nice conversation and Teyla wonders why John had been so loathe to introduce them before. Eventually, Cam moves away to join Ronon and McKay, leaving her with Dave. "Cam seems like a nice guy," he takes a sip of his scotch. "Have you two been together long?"

"Oh," Teyla laughs. "We are not together. Cam is my boss."

"Sorry," Dave looks out the window. "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

She wonders if Dave is "hitting" on her, something John had warned her might happen, when he says, "John and Larrin aren't serious."

At the mention, Teyla turns and watches as Larrin casually props her elbow on John's shoulder as she converses with Cam.

"You know he used to talk about you?" Dave still isn't looking at her. "I don't know what happened, and I don't want to. But maybe it's time you worked it out." He meets her eyes as he adds, "This is completely selfish, by the way…I don't know if I can stand another dinner with her."

Everyone has left, including Larrin, and Teyla begins to rinse out the wine glasses. "You don't have to do that," John leans against the counter, crossing his arms. She thought that seeing John in a cashmere sweater instead of a t-shirt would create cognitive dissonance, but somehow, it seemed to fit. Maybe because things have changed.

They both have changed.

"I do not mind," she says.

He rolls up his sleeves and grabs a dishcloth, "Move over."

There is something that has been hanging between them, and surprisingly it is John who starts the conversation. These are words that have long been held back, and though his voice remains steady, she can feel the anger behind them.

That she had chosen drugs over him. That he couldn't be in love with her and help her at the same time. That it had become so complicated, so messy, that he had to let her go.

He is finished talking and the glasses are sitting in neat row on the counter.

"We are different, now." She says, "Neither of us are the same people we were before."

"I know," John sighs.

"Perhaps," she is careful with her words, "Perhaps that is a good thing."

"Think so?"

"We can start anew," she says.

John places a hand on her waist. "I would like that."


	33. Excuses

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

"I know that we must keep this a secret from our co-workers, but from your family as well?"

Teyla doesn't look happy, but John has his reasons. His father hates cops. No, that's not entirely accurate; he just looks down on them. And introducing her to Dave would mean Dave turning up the charm.

"It's better this way."

"John," Teyla tucks her legs under her. "I find family extremely important."

She's wearing one of his t-shirts and he's finding it increasingly difficult to keep up his argument. "Maybe one day."

He can tell that she's still annoyed when she slips under the covers and shuts off the light.


	34. Three Rounds and a Sound

Disclaimer: I don't own SGA, the characters, etc.

* * *

She is awakened by the ringing of her phone and finds herself momentarily disoriented. Unfamiliar sheets, unfamiliar shapes in the dark, but a very familiar warmth next to her. She reaches across him and hits the answer button. "Emmagan speaking."

"This is Stackhouse," his voice sounds shaky. "We need someone down here."

"I will be there as soon as I can."

"Good, I'm sending the coordinates to your phone." There's a click and Teyla reaches for her clothes.

John sits up beside her, more asleep than awake. "Were you called in?"

"Something has happened," she says, "He would not say over the phone."

Teyla buttons her blouse and gives John a kiss on the cheek.

"Be careful," he says.

"Always."

The sun has not yet begun to rise when she pulls in front of the building. Stackhouse waves her over and she follows him into the foyer. Officers are already processing the scene. "How many?" she asks.

"Three," he responds. "The security guard," he points to where the medical examiner is standing. "Then two more on the second floor." He looks shaken, "But that's not why I called you. There's something weird going on here."

Teyla decides to call Cam sooner, rather than later. "Sgt. Mitchell," she keeps her voice even. "I believe that you will want to see this. I will alert Daniel and Vala, as well."


End file.
